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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
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Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Your mom tossed my salad torrent
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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